Thursday, December 2, 2010

Muffin Tops...

I have seen all the butt cracks I can take and I can't take any more!

Sadly, these are not the butt cracks one expects to see & dare I say even hopes to see (for the sake of a little giggle ONLY) ie plumbers. No, no...these are the butt cracks of ladies who are obviously unwilling to admit that they are actually a size (or 4) larger than they had once been (see how I'm giving them credit here - maybe they were once that size. Even though, if I'm honest, I doubt most of them ever were.).

Do these chicks not know that when they sit or bend over or pretty much do anything, that we can see that ole muffin top exploding out of their pants? Now, I am really not talking about the little bit of pudge that likes to make itself known around the holidays or anything like that...I'm talking about the blatant ones. The kind that we all just go 'uh, honey - who do you think you are fooling?' Since when is it more attractive to wear jeans under the belly & let it all hang out? Have we all turned into middle aged men who let their bellies hang out? I mean seriously...

In fact, it was when my size 6 friend said to me a few years ago "That's it - I need to buy mid-rise jeans from now on...the low risers are just not working!' that I had a revelation. This is not just a big girl problem. This is a woman problem...

So, I say to woman kind - buy the jeans that ACTUALLY FIT YOU. No one has to know the size that the tag says. No one has to know if they are mid-rise or low rise. I guarantee that you will be more comfortable! And, the rest of us will no longer have to pretend that we didn't just see way more of you than any of us wanted. Deal?!

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