Sometimes I think about...

what a different mother I'd be if I were just starting my family at this point in my life. Of course, my life at this point wouldn't look the same either. Please know, that I don't wonder this out of being unhappy. It's just strange to think about.

First, I think that no matter how old you are as a parent - there are some pretty universal things that just come with having a baby. Sleep deprivation is hard no matter how mature you are, etc.

Mostly, I think I'd probably have been much more studied in the whole baby thing. I'd probably have had a birth plan and some sort of cool laboring technique all ready to go. I definitely wouldn't have insisted on being induced just because my mother was in town...which of course ended up with me going through 36 hours of laboring hell just to have a C-section (eye roll at my idiocy). I think that if I would have left it up to my body to go into labor when it was ready - I probably would have been a couple of weeks 'over-due', because I think my body just takes a little longer to do the baby growing than the general 40 week model. I also would have been better about exercise while being pregnant (& not ended up gaining an entire 2nd grader), but that could just be wishful thinking. ;-)

On the other hand, I would probably have a harder time going with the flow. I mean, babies don't really give a rip about our plans or expectations, right?! But, that would probably be a lot harder transition in your 30's when you've had so long to be about your self and whatever routine you have created.

I guess it's like dating too. I was talking to a friend who is in the whole dating world and in her 30's and there was a part of me that was also thinking of what a different experience that is than dating in your upper teens or early 20's. I mean, by your 30's you know who you are & what you want. You (hopefully) aren't looking for someone to tell you who you are, like you do when you are younger (I did anyways). I don't know - there's something kind of refreshing about that...skipping the mind games & really communicating. Then again, I know that comes with it's own set of issues or baggage too. So, I don't know.

I guess in the end, I still come to the same place - be happy with your own path. All the bends in the road, potholes and scenic routes have made us who we are. Hindsight is always 20/20, but that's always going to be true. Live, learn and keep moving forward. God is good. He loves us enough to keep taking us around the same block until we really learn the lessons that we need to. And He loves us right where we're at. That in itself is a relief.