So insulting!

We have a few friends that are really into 'The Secret'. I would like to just say plainly that I think that it's kind of crap. Not the being positive part or having dreams part, but the part that claims that all you need to do is be positive & you'll get anything & everything you so desire.

We were talking with one of our friends about life and he started talking about how all you need is to visualize your life & all the things you really want, blah blah blah. Then he started using Aaron (and our family) as the perfect example of positive thinking. "You wanted to be a teacher. You visualized your life & now you're a teacher!"

Can you believe the audacity of that? I mean, hello?? Where were you the 6 years it took to get there? Aaron was in college. It wasn't just positive thinking or visualizations. It was a hell of a lot of work!

I mean, was it just thinking happy thoughts that got all those papers written at 3 am? Good LORD! It is just so insulting!! And, really it's not just about us...I find it so insulting to anyone that has EVER worked hard to get somewhere in life. It's insulting to the people that show up to their jobs everyday to provide for their families!

Be positive, remind yourself of what you want, let that drive you to work hard or make the choices you need to make to get where you want to be. BUT, you don't get to minimize what others have done & sacrificed, just to delude yourself into declaring that it was just happy thoughts to make yourself feel better.

Dear Diet Pepsi

How I love your 0 calories.

I love your taste and flavor too.

(so much better than Dt. Coke)

You give me a boost when I need it.

Thank you for always being there.

Did I mention your 0 calories?

Love.

Has anyone noticed...

the increase of door to door salesmen, lately? Well, I HAVE and I am ready to punch the next one square in the face!

This is not without reason, mind you. A couple of weeks ago I had one guy claiming to work for a carpet cleaning service, who wanted to clean one area for free so we'd recommend him to friends. At the time, I was excited because my family room carpet was in great need of being cleaned, and what's better than FREE?

So, about 20 minutes later the man shows up...with other people & boxes. 20 minutes later...the man is putting together a kirby vacuum & carpet cleaner. This man was selling a friggin' vacuum! No ordinary vacuum, mind you, a $2500.00 vacuum!! Of course we could make payments of $25 or $50/ month payments if we wanted to (for the next 5 years). Two and a half hours later this man was still in my house! His entire sales pitch was to vacuum up dirt, and ask me 'how I could let my children live in this kind of filth', 'don't you care about your children & their health?' 'You must NOT care about your children', etc. After two hours, I started agreeing with him, 'I must not care.' 'If caring equals paying a bunch of money that I don't have...I guess I don't', etc. Once we passed the hour & a half point, I didn't really care what I had to say...I was gonna get my carpet cleaned! By the end, the guy realizes I'm not buying his crap, and he says 'well, if you're not gonna buy the vacuum, can you give me some of the dinner you made for your family?' I was so desperate to get this guy OUT OF MY HOUSE...I DID it! I made up a plate of food for this guy - just to get him out!

Oh, and I forgot to mention the best part of this story...while I am putting up with the guy that would never shut up & leave my house - my dad was sending suicide texts to me & my brothers. Yes, in the middle of all of this, I am running in & out of the room, so that I can deal with my verbally abusive & CRAZY father, my brothers who are freaking out, and my husband & myself!! It was truly a HELL of a night!

Seriously, the whole sales tactic of manipulating a person into buying the thing one is selling, makes me CRAZY! I had a home security system guy try to sell me security alarms & crap in the same way: 'you must not care about your children's safety', 'Are you just going to wait for something bad to happen before you protect yourself?'. I was LITERALLY answering 'YES' to all of his questions. 'You must not care about your children's safety' (yeah I guess I don't...seriously??) Thankfully, the guy gave up a lot quicker than the first guy.

I get that it's a tough economy, and you gotta do what you gotta do, but seriously - it'd be more effective just hitting your head against a wall!

A sad blog

I was talking to my mom today. I told her that I'd love to have my aunt Diane come out for a visit in the fall with her (my mom), just for fun. We spent a couple of days with her in Iowa when we were there a month ago, and it was so fun! She LOVES the kids, and they love her.

A little background on my Aunt: she no longer has kids of her own. She & her husband had a son named Dustin. He was the joy of their life! They were also pregnant, but lost their other baby boy just short of him being born. It was such a terrible time. They were great parents. Eventually, they were at peace with things, knowing that they had Dustin was such a comfort.

Dustin was 7 years old when they were driving on a dirt road in the middle of nowhere in the midwest. The 3 of them were all together, and had no idea there was a tornado warning in effect. The tornado ran right into them & destroyed the van and their life as they knew it. Dustin was killed in that terrible storm. It was the worst thing I have ever experienced. I won't go into further details, because they are truly what nightmares are made of for any parent. Dustin would have just graduated from High School in June.

All of that background, is to preface this conversation that my mom was relaying to me. She was telling me that in her last conversation with my Aunt Diane, she was crying and talking about how fun it was to be with my kids. She then went on to say how desperately she wished she could have kids of her own to experience that with. As soon as my mom said that I burst into tears...my heart aches for my aunt. I SO wish that she could have that. It's these types of things that I just don't understand. I don't understand WHY. Why this happened, where God is in all of it, and just how deeply unfair it is.

It also makes me want to be there for her even more, for her to know how important she is to me & my kids. I'm just so damn far away! I hate these parts of living so far away.

So, I cry, and I pray. I don't know what else to do.

Wow, wow, wow

It has been WAY too long! It's summer & we have been busy.

Quick update stuff:

I took a major road trip with the kids to Iowa & MN for a visit with my family. It consists of 2 days of driving each way. It. was. a. lot! I was so happy to have fit it in, because I was able to see my family, and many of my great friends from way-back!

On the way there we almost ran out of gas in the middle of Wyoming at 11pm. SCARY! Thankfully, we avoided all of the deer along the way too...there are SO many! At one point, late at night, I turned on my brights & instantly saw 5 deer right on the side of the road by my car! I about had a heart attack! The more midwest you get, the more deer there are too (or so it seems). My mom was known as the 'deer hunter' with her car for a period of years. Seriously, she hit SO many deer! Thankfully, that gift was NOT passed down. Phew!

On the way home, I missed one of my very best friend's birth of her first baby. It was so sad. I was only 5 hours away too. I cried on & off for a few hours, then got over it since there was NOTHING I could do about it. I was kicking myself that I didn't drive all night, but then reality set in that it's better that we took our time & are still alive. :-)

The baby is beautiful! We went home to hug Aaron & then we all set off for the hospital!

We took a while to recover from our big trip, and have YET to clean out the car from it...yikes!

It's wonderful to be home, we all really missed Aaron, and I'm happy to report that he was a miserable mess while we were gone too ;-). Is it terrible that it makes me happy that he had such a hard time? Oh well. He did some fun things though, so don't feel too bad for him.

Aaron taught summer school this summer (hence the not coming with us part). We tried to remind him that he was doing it for Mickey! We are saving the money he made, and funding our Disneyland trip with it in December...yay!! Thankfully, he is done now, and we can do a few fun things in the area!

We all went to greenbluff to pick raspberries too! I then made tons of jam that is so super delicious! Love it!

My brother & his girlfriend came for a visit, which was fun! We enjoyed getting to know her and just spend time with them. We had some adventures along the way as well! We attempted to float down the river. I say attempted, because it was a LOT of work! The floating part was GREAT! It just took so darn long to get ready for the floating, that we ended up skipping a step (parking a car at the end destination). We thought that we could just float a bit & then make our way back to the starting point...easy, right?!

Wrong! We LOVED the floating part. We even bought an inflatable boat for the kids to be in! But between the current, the mossy (slippery) rocks, and not wearing shoes...we were kind of screwed. We tried to walk back on the dry rocks on the sides of the river, but they were BLAZING hot & we burned our feet! I finally ended up pulling the kids in the boat back up to the starting point along the edge of the river...grabbing rocks & pulling us up, finding another rock & pulling us up. Between the current & trying to find the right kind of rocks, it was a bit of an adventure! An hour or so later, I finally made it back, but BOY were my arms & shoulders tired! No workout required after THAT! We DO want to try it again, but the 2 tips I have learned are: wear shoes (not flip flops), and have a car at both the beginning & the end points! It would have been heavenly if we'd have done that! Really!!

Anyways, wow...I'm tired just thinking about all of that, but I'm back, and will hopefully be a little more consistent in the blogging now :-)

We did NOT run out of toilet paper 3 days ago & just decide to use baby wipes because I didn't want to run to the store...Not Me.

I also did not take my youngest son to the ER wearing just his underwear...forgetting to bring him shoes altogether. 

I did not get so caught up talking to friends that came over, that I forgot that my kids were playing outside & let them play out there til 10pm (in the dark for over an hour).

I also would never be on the computer for so long, that I'd forget to get the kids breakfast til 11am...nope, not me! 

Oh what a day!

I watch my 1 ½ year old niece, Lauryn, every Friday. Usually, our Fridays end up being pretty low key because of that. We hang out in our jammies & play. This Friday started out the same – breakfast, get Jehu off to school, play, etc. I was sitting on the couch watching the kids play & planning to paying the bills when the kids all took their naps. Noah and Roz played by the fireplace with their toys, while Lauryn was walking around finding little treasures along the way. That’s when Noah got up to move to Rozalyn’s other side, and tripped over her legs falling into the edge of the fireplace. I saw the whole thing & held my breath waiting to see how bad it was. Noah instantly started screaming & clutching his eye. I got up to see the damage & comfort him. When I saw his eye. I had a little gag reflex moment, and started to panic. This was no run of the mill fall; this was going to require stitches for sure! 

I pulled Noah on the counter to give him a clean towel to try to stop the bleeding (or at least to catch it – it was coming out fast). Noah was screaming. I yelled to Roz ‘we have to go RIGHT NOW…get your shoes on NOW!’ She was hurrying to get her shoes & I ran into the next room & out of it again - unsure of what to do next. I decide that I’d better call Meghan (my sister in law & Lauryn’s mom) to tell her that we’re going to the ER. I also called my husband, Aaron, to tell him what’s going on (I am panicking at this point & out of breath because I was slightly hyperventilating). Neither one of them answered their phones, so I left frantic messages for them both (which in the end sounded like a lot of screaming with no real words). I yelled to Roz to find Noah a pair of shorts – any shorts (because all he had on was underwear). I assessed myself & decided to leave as is (black sweats/jammies) – we didn’t have time for me to change clothes, but at least I had a bra on. Lauryn was dressed but didn’t have any shoes on, so I grabbed her diaper bag & threw her shoes into it. I grabbed my purse & threw in the swim trunks that Roz found for Noah & a random T-shirt that I saw laying close by. I took Lauryn to the car & got her buckled, then had Roz run out there while I carried Noah out & got him buckled. I then ran back to the door & realized that I was locked out of the house! My keys, phone & purse were inside the house while we were outside. I screamed F***. I am crying & sweating too mind you – what with all the running & the panicking. I remembered that Jehu left for school from the front door & hoped that it was still unlocked. I ran for the front door, and thankfully it was unlocked! I ran in to get my bags & we were off. Remember that Noah was still screaming this whole time too.

While I was driving, I decided to call my husband &Meghan back to leave understandable messages with actual information in them (what ER I am going to, WHO was hurt etc). I talked to my husband who was uncharacteristically calm (thank GOD). I also asked Roz to get Lauryn’s shoes on her. I found the ER & went to park & there were NO parking spaces…*#$%@)#*#. I finally found one that was about a block away.  I got out of the car & got Lauryn out first, then Roz & the bags & then Noah who was still only wearing undies. There was no way that I was going to be able to carry Lauryn & Noah & the bags, so I decide to have L walk since she at least had shoes. So there I was carrying Noah who is screaming, & the bags & trying to pull L as fast as she would go with Roz holding L’s other hand. That was not working, so I decided to try Noah walking with no shoes & carrying L, because he can go faster than she can. That works for all of 5 steps before Noah is just beside himself, so I grabbed him too – now holding L in one arm like a sack of potatoes & carrying Noah with my other arm & limping along dragging my purse behind me while Roz carried the other bag. All the while – Noah was screaming & I was sweating & crying at the same time as well as completely out of breath because of the panicking. While all of this was happening, I happened to look up & people were stopping & staring at us! Not helping us at all, but staring for sure! It must have been quite a sight!

I finally got through the doors & set everyone down.They wanted me to fill out a paper asking for his social security number…in exhaustion I said ‘oh my god – I don’t know that right now!’ Thankfully, the lady at the desk took pity on me asking for his name & birth date only. At the same time a very nice older man that worked there brought a wheel chair over – asking me to set my children in there. I was able to set Noah & Lauryn both in there. Then they wheeled us to the children’s ER. I recognized one of the nurses as a mom of one of the kids from Jehu’s baseball team last year (thank god!). They all helped me so much from there. Long story a little bit shorter, Lauryn & Roz were picked up within an hour, so I could focus on Noah. He had to be tied up for the stitches, which sucked, but was better than him moving around & getting a needle in his eye or something. We had a lot of tears throughout the rest of the day, but approximately 30 stitches later (internal & external) we came home. 

I am hoping that we don’t ever have to do this day over again, but part of me expects that we will SOMETIME in the next 18 years. Hopefully, it’s not for a while though.