Every once in a while, I think about how many different ways my life could have gone. When I was younger, I felt so much pressure about making the 'right' choices. Now, I don't mean morally - I still want to strive to make good choices on a moral level. BUT, what I'm talking about is more on the life choices level. I mean, especially at a certain point - I was so worried about messing up my 'destiny' and making the right choice for my future…and again, worrying that I was somehow going to royally screw it up.
It's funny to me now (at least to a certain point), because I'm starting to see that God really doesn't care all that much…I mean, He cares, but I guess ultimately I think I gave myself way too much credit in my ability to screw it up.
I mean, I used to tell my hubby that in another life I could have lived in a studio apartment in the city & pursued acting. Then on the other hand, I think I could have been a business woman - a ball crushing hard ass business woman (sadly, it's really probably not much of an exaggeration). Or a stylist (which, I am actually pursuing). Or a bunch of other things I can't even imagine. And really - I probably could have chosen any of those things and been happy. Of course, I'd have different struggles or paths than the ones I've had so far, but I think it could have been equally good. I don't say that because I am somehow unhappy with the choices I HAVE made either.
I guess I am just amazed at how big God is and how crazy it is that you can make a few decisions and end up somewhere you never could have imagined being and be so happy to find yourself there. It's pretty amazing.
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