Trying to be okay with somewhere in the middle...

Have you seen the movie Tangled? It's a great one!

The part when Rapunzel comes out of the tower for the first time and keeps flip flopping between it being the BEST DAY EVER and feeling like a despicable human being ALWAYS makes me laugh! Mostly, because it is SUCH a picture of me and my over active conscience.

Then in other areas (like exercise) - I just have nothing in me to be extreme. Of course, I still feel the pressure (the inner flip flopping) to be extreme or to not give a friggin' rip. But over the last couple of years, I've really been trying to find a middle ground. I am not one of those people that want to be so extreme in exercise or diet that I can't go out to eat or do things. Yet, I want to be healthy FOR ME. I don't want to be held back from doing things because of my body either or because I get so caught up in being self conscience that I am not fully present or in the moment to enjoy whatever it is that I am doing. Does that make any sense?

SO, even though I am not one of those people that want to 'buffet their bodies' for buffeting sake. It also doesn't negate me from needing to be active & healthy either. So, here I am trying to find a middle ground & stay there.

So, just over two years ago now my husband and I began a journey of making some lifestyle changes...incorporating exercise & healthy eating habits into our life...FOR LIFE!! And we both lost a good amount of weight that first year. This second (plus) year has been about keeping it off & maintaining that healthy lifestyle. So, now, we are healthy & strong...yet we are still pretty average sized people - if not on the larger side. I will never be a size 6. Never have been - never will be. But I am an active & pretty dang fit size 12/14. I would like to tone down to a consistent 12. Let's get real too - I have some lovely sagging skin in some places too, but hey - better to be healthier with some saggy arms than fatter and unhealthy, right?! Most days I am good with all of that, but dang if it's not hard to keep that truth & confidence in just being ME, sometimes. Whoosh!

Unfortunately, the last 15 pounds I lost have crept their way back to me over the winter. I am trying to get back to a bit more consistency in my food & exercise. It's a little depressing and I am trying not to let that feeling sink me into feeling like it's impossible. It's challenging to say the least.

So, here I sit - trying desperately to be okay with somewhere in the middle...be okay with my body being somewhere in the middle and to be okay with being fit and healthy, but not a freak about it either. Gah! Off to the gym I go...just to mark it off the list of things to do today. :-)

Growth...

Wow, sometimes, I focus too much on all the things I'm not. Like soulemama.com...have you seen this gal? She is AMAZING. I check out her website/blog & stand in awe. She is pretty much the total package of everything I'm not. Seriously. I am in awe of her.

Then, I either start to feel guilty that I am not doing almost ANY of the things that she does...I am so ruining my children. OR I shake my head and say "you go Soule mama" and celebrate the things that I DO do.

Last month I finally made black beans in the crock pot for the first time. Like from dried beans. Sometimes I amaze myself. :-)

Now, to some - that may not seem like much of a feat, but where I come from - that is kind of a big deal! I mean, I love my family, but I do not come from a family of cooks by any means. I grew up on a steady diet of hamburger helper & various other such types of food. My mom had a handful of meals in her bag of tricks - spaghetti, pot roast & ham...and she can make some pretty delish mashed potatoes too! But, that's pretty close to the end of the list of food that she makes. So, needless to say - when I got married I was not exactly a cook. We ate a lot of cheap crap in fact. Though, my husband did draw the line at hamburger helper. It's really no wonder that we both gained weight like crazy in the first couple of years. *scary*

Anywhoo...thankfully, over the last 5 years or so, I have gotten progressively better in the cooking department. This is partly thanks to Food Network and to many many friends over the years. So, now - I cook REAL food! Yay me!

I heard someone say once that one gauge of real food is food that our great grandparents would recognize as food...sorry Hamburger Helper - I don't think you and your package of flavorings qualify.

Please know that me saying this does NOT mean that we never have mac & cheese or hot dogs or crystal light in the house. In fact - I'm kind of a food hypocrite of sorts, because as much as I want the majority of what my family eats to be real food that is healthy & good for our bodies. I also don't want to be 300 lbs. So, I also use things like Splenda and drink Diet soda. Oh well!

So, I continue to try to focus on the things that I DO and try not to obsess about those things that I don't do. Join me won't you?! It is so much more enjoyable that way!

Spring Break 2011

I've mentioned this before, but my picture taking skills & priorities have been extremely lacking these days. I missed a TON of great photo-ops while we were gone. I guess I was, like, living in the moment or something. Sorry!

We had a fabulous time over Spring Break! We stayed at a (friend of a) friend's condo for FREE, so WOOHOO!! We enjoyed a laid back version of Seattle.

We went to the zoo for a day.

We had a couple of adventure days at Saltwater State Park. One of our very FAVORITE things to do is explore tide pools and discover sea life during low tide. We had a bonfire on the beach and roasted hotdogs for lunch and s'mores for dessert! It was SO much fun! :-)

We caught up on a few movies in the evenings too, which was nice. Don't you just love vacation?!

We couldn't be in Seattle and NOT visit the Pacific Science Center either. It was having a special Star Wars exhibit, after all. So, we had to check that out too! We got to see all sorts of cool stuff from the movies - costumes, props and they even got to "drive" a hovercraft. They were in Star Wars heaven. It was pretty entertaining people-watching, too. ;-)

We also headed up to Canada to spend time with some friends there. We had so much fun with them and their daughter! We stayed up late talking, playing games and watching movies. One evening we went quad-ing (also known as 4-wheeling in the states) by the river too - building a fire and having dinner outdoors...it was great! We enjoyed lots of coffee and hours of great talks! We are so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family!

It was so nice to be away. :-)